What kinds of people pay for sex?
Anyone and everyone! For me personally, my main genre of clients were doctors, lawyers, financiers, property tycoons, entrepreneurs and creatives. Mostly men in their 50s and 60s.
But really it is any kind of person who pays for sex; party people, kind people, lonely people, heartbroken people, happy people, suicidal people, grieving people, controlling people, inability to commit people, hungry for a connection people, a desire for escapism people, a willingness to explore people, egotistical people.
One of my favourite stories was a booking with a disabled client. He had been in a motorbike accident. This is a booking that remains engraved in memory not only because the client himself was just the most gorgeous soul and devilishly handsome but because it was his grandmother who organised the booking. She greeted me as I arrived, handed me the cash, walked off and said, ‘have fun!’ What an understanding grandmother!
Clients didn’t always want sex. Each client came complete with their own set of needs. The best sex workers have an awareness and a good understanding of this.
One client booked me for an hour and just wanted a massage, a regular one, no ‘happy ending.’ His brother had committed suicide a few weeks beforehand. He just needed to feel connected and nurtured in that moment. His choice of nurture was in the form of a massage.
Another client who was suicidal after a break-up just wanted to talk. I was able to comfort and reassure him which in turn helped him to move on.
One of my last clients was a widower who just wanted some female company and was happy to chat for a couple of hours about anything from politics and current affairs, to love and relationships. No nudity, nothing physical, just chatting like old friends. He was a true Gentleman.
I have met so many lovely clients over the years. The point of my book, Unashamed is not just to eradicate shame for sex workers but also for clients. I think clients get given unfair labels by society as ‘perverts’ or people you’d avoid but the reality is very different. I’m not saying that there aren’t bad clients out there but from my experiences, many of my clients were lovely, kind, respectful and giving people. I learned from them, and they learned from me.
Many of my clients referred to me as their therapist. ‘You are my doctor!’ I have been told. I think one of the main reasons why I was able to build a long list of loyal regulars was because I needed my clients just as much as they needed me. I wasn’t all take. I wanted to feel a connection too. I gave clients everything I could in that moment. I was attentive, I was genuine and wanted them to feel better after their time with me.