Sexpectations at Conway Hall
This week I was invited to be a guest speaker at Conway Hall in central London for a live Q&A and panel discussion for their Sexpectations series. I was speaking alongside representatives from the East London Strippers Collective and author of, The Ethical Stripper, Stacey Clare. I was invited to discuss the sex industry, sex workers rights and my memoir, Unashamed: Why do people pay for sex?
Conway Hall is owned by the charity, Conway Hall Ethical Society and first opened back in 1929. It holds one of the largest humanist research libraries in the UK and hosts talks, concerts, community and social events.
I’m always hugely grateful to be a part of these discussions and to be given a platform to speak so openly about my life as a sex worker. Of course, there were a few nerves as to be expected with such an event, especially being in front of a live audience. I had previously read some negative comments in reaction to the event on social media, so I was a little apprehensive. However, the thing that grounds me in every interview and every discussion, is all the people that my story will help, all the sex workers out there who need support and are hiding in isolation like I did for so many years.
The event itself was very intimate. The organisers were all so lovely and welcoming and really helped to keep my nerves at bay. It was also reassuring to be on stage with a fellow adult industry worker for support. The majority of interviews that I had done up until that point had been on my own, so it felt comforting to have someone else on stage with me. Strength in numbers as they say!
One of the questions that stood out for me was being asked, ‘what did you leave out of the book?’ This is a question that I had not been asked before and I thought what a great perspective it was. Now that the book has been out for almost a year, I can begin to reflect back on that challenging period of my life. I can see very clearly now that my anxiety levels were through the roof as I came to terms with the fact that I was about to expose very personal details about my life. I realise now that I held back on a lot of the details with regards to my sex life and experiences with clients for fear of the reaction, especially considering the fact that I put my face and name on the front cover. Acknowledging this has opened up space for me to write more freely in my next book.
The thing that I loved most about this event was speaking to the audience members one on one after the Q&A. It had my heart beaming love that I was able to connect face to face and offer support. Because it is in those moments where I find my purpose and reason for doing what I am doing. This isn’t about me. It is about helping others. And it goes without saying that no matter who you are or what you do in life, if you find your purpose, your reason for getting up every day, that is the key to living a fulfilling life.
Thank you to everyone who came along and supported the event, I never take the support for granted so please know that it really did mean the world to me to have you there. And a huge thank you to the organisers of Sexpectations for being so accommodating.