Is the sex industry over glamourised?
I’ve had many interesting conversations with both sex workers and non-sex workers over the past year. A common topic that seems to keep popping up is the over glamourising of the sex industry.
Now from the get-go, I have made it clear that I am very aware of the dark side to the sex industry. At no point have I said, ‘Hey everyone come work as a sex worker, it’s amazing!’ Because that would be reckless and irresponsible. Sex work is hard graft and requires a certain type of person to do the job. One who is gutsy, confident, sexually open, aware. It is not a job for everyone. It comes with risks. It was my strong sense of intuition that kept me safe all these years.
But the dark side of the industry is all that we’ve ever really been shown through mainstream media. It’s these negative headlines that feed into the shame of the profession and causes sex workers to live in isolation without the support that they need which is a danger within itself. This is where my focus is. To fight the shame and discrimination for those who do enjoy the job and do have good clients so that they can come out of the shadows and in turn live safer, happier lives. And if that means being open and honest about my positive experiences in the industry then so be it. It is not over glamourising. It is merely giving another side to the story.
Like it or not, the sex industry is going nowhere. We can either choose to remain ignorant further feeding the dangers or we can choose to accept the industry helping to safeguard sex workers in the long run. My campaign to amend the Equality Act 2010 to include professions in the protected characteristics is a fine example. Because how would a sex worker get out of sex work if they have gaps on their CV and have to lie to potential employers? What effect do you think that has? How would they gain access to banking and housing without lying about their profession further feeding into shame? All that does is cause sex workers to remain in an industry that can be very difficult to get out of when there is no set plan in place. Criminalising sex work discrimination will open up so many doors. Sure, it may seem like a pipe dream right now but reading literature such as, Suffragette by Emmeline Pankhurst is a reminder of just how much fight is needed when it comes to law reform. It is not for the faint of heart.
Shame is volatile. Shame is dangerous. It is directly linked to substance abuse, self-harm and eating disorders. As the American author and academic Brene Brown said, “When we experience shame, we feel disconnected and desperate for worthiness. Full of shame or the fear of shame, we are more likely to engage in self-destructive behaviours and to attack or shame others. In fact, shame is related to violence, aggression, depression, addiction, eating disorders, and bullying.”
My mission from the beginning has been to show that whilst there are negatives to the job, there are also positives and that some sex workers even enjoy the job and get on well with their clients. But many never dare to say that they enjoy it because society have conditioned us to the point where if we do say anything positive about sex work then we are bad people, practically a walking billboard shamefully recruiting others into the industry. Because of this, I kept silent for the best part of two decades. However, I won’t allow society to keep me silent.
In shining a spotlight on the industry, this will also shine a spotlight on those intent on exploiting us, giving them less room to hide. If sex work can become an accepted profession that leaves very little room for those with ill intentions. It will help to give sex workers a platform to speak up and report incidents should they need to. So many crimes within the industry go unreported because of the fear and because of the shame. When it comes to statistics on the sex industry, very little reliable data is available.
I am a woman who has survived many challenges and has always come out a stronger, more resilient version myself. I have been underestimated my whole life and that’s ok. The ‘dumb blonde’ stereotype is nothing new. Like water off a duck’s back to me these days. It’s those who dismiss and underestimate me are the ones who give me fuel, give me the fire in my belly to keep moving forwards and fight for a cause that is important to me. Because I can’t just remain ignorant, sit back and do nothing. At least if I try, I can look back on my life with a sense of pride knowing that I tried my hardest to make an already scrutinised profession, safer.
There have been more than enough headlines on the dangers of sex work and the ‘seedy underbelly’ side to the industry. For the most part, women (and men!) are aware of the risks going into the adult industry. Let’s give them a bit more credit rather than labelling them as dumb, hapless victims who have no idea what they are doing. Working in the sex industry is a decision that most don’t make lightly. And while I acknowledge that there is a dark side to the industry, I refuse to feel bad about having worked in a profession that I enjoyed and that helped so many people. From clients who were suicidal to clients were grieving the death of a loved one. Like it or not, sex workers are a fundamental part to society and I will continue to speak up for those who have been made to feel shame for doing a job they love.