Domestic Violence Awareness Month
*Trigger warning: domestic violence*
As October is domestic violence awareness month, in this week’s blog I have chosen to share an extract from my memoir, Unashamed: Why do people pay for sex? Chapter Six: Crazy Love is all about my experience of domestic violence and relationship with Shaun. Shaun was a client who I met while working as a sex worker for Lust; a London escort agency. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
“My heart beamed with love. I had never felt so incredibly special and loved in all my life. All the insecurities I had from never feeling good enough, never feeling loved enough, never feeling special enough were gone, completely eradicated from my life. He made me feel like no man had ever made me feel before. I didn’t think love like this existed. I never for one minute questioned it. He loved me and I loved him and that was all that mattered. So long as we are together, we will always be happy, I thought. It was intense and passionate and made me feel more alive than I had ever felt. He promised me safety and security like no one ever had. And above all, he believed in my acting ability, and that meant the world to me.
He would buy me flowers and drive me everywhere, telling me that my days of getting the train were over. He took me out for dinner, promised holidays, promised the world and put me high up on a pedestal. ‘Let me look after you,’ he’d insist. ‘You’ve got to let me in your life, let me take care of you. We are going to have a great life together!’ he’d say so convincingly. I was still working at Lust when I first started dating Shaun. It must have been hard for him but he didn’t use it against me at the time. I felt so lucky that he was so understanding. Little did I know that one day that would all change.
One evening, Shaun organised to pick me up from the theatre. I went to see The Herd with a friend from acting school. Obviously, I had my phone on silent during the play. When the play finished, I checked my phone to see that I had nineteen missed calls from Shaun. It didn’t freak me out. All I thought was, Wow, this guy is really keen, he must really like me. Fast forward to today and knowing what I know now – a bombardment of phone calls is a massive red flag. If you are in this situation, I advise you to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction and never look back. This never occurred to me. This man was treating me like a queen.”
Unashamed: Why do people pay for sex? A memoir by Elizabeth G. is now available on Amazon in hardback, ebook and audio.