Debunking Sex Work Myths
I have been observing numerous conversations as of late and there seems to be a bit of a running theme and assumption that I am unaware of the dangers of sex work because I worked as a high-end escort.
Let’s not forget that I started at the bottom with low-end agencies. I’ve worked a real range. I’ve worked in massage parlours, in low-end agencies, I’ve worked independently, and I’ve worked for high-end agencies. I had to really work my way up through the agencies, starting at £100 per hour for agencies out in suburbia right through to the high-end agencies in Mayfair earning £350 per hour.
I just want to make this really clear: Clients with the most amount of money didn’t always equal the best bookings. It all came down to a mutual respect and chemistry. Sometimes the wealthiest clients were the worst; they just saw me as an object to be disrespected. When working for the low-end agencies, I saw ex-convicts, prisoners out on day release, drug dealers and clients with bullet proof doors. So it wasn’t always rainbows and sunshine. But believe it or not some of these clients were some of my best bookings.
Sex work is sex work whether it’s street walking, outcall agencies, massage parlours or high-end agencies in Mayfair. The core of the work is still the same no matter the location or the price. The vulnerabilities are still the same. Clients paying lots of money did not automatically equal safety. In some ways I found them worse. Because of their vast wealth, they often were more controlling and less respectful.
Let’s not forget the story of Christina Abbots, a sex worker who was tragically bludgeoned to death by a client who was a city banker paying her £2,000 for the night. Let me say this again: Clients with lots of money didn’t always equal the best bookings. They often had a different attitude when it came to the treatment of women. The more money, the more power, the bigger the ego. Some of them abused that power. Whether a client was paying lots of money or very little. Whether I was in a glitzy five-star hotel in Mayfair or a rundown flat out in the suburbs, the risks were still there. Experience taught me not to judge a person based on their income. Some clients with the least amount of money were the loveliest. And some were not.
Aggressive men exist everywhere. In all walks of life. No matter how they present themselves. Let’s not forget that. Let’s stop being so naive and judging people based on their social status. I learnt to become reliant on my intuition which kept me safe during my years as a sex worker. That told me everything I needed to know. A client’s appearance and income did not.
As I have said many times before, I am aware there is a dark side to the sex industry. I am not denying that. I fully support those stories being told. But I just felt like my side of the story hadn’t been told. I don’t believe sex work itself to be dangerous. It’s the aggressive men who are dangerous. Added to that the shame and stigma surrounding the profession, and you have yourself a perfect storm for exploitation. There is no reason at all, I believe, for a sex worker to be walking the streets. I can guarantee the number one reason for a sex worker to make that choice (rather than work for an agency) is shame. They feel too much shame to show their face on an agency website. They feel too much shame to expose themselves. They feel so ashamed that they don’t even feel good enough to work for an agency. If we can get to the root cause of the shame surrounding sex work, and eradicate it, I guarantee we will see a complete turnaround of the industry and therefore making life safer for sex workers.